This staring hurts my eyes. I am trying to focus but it seems as if the point I want is only getting further away the harder I try. One must let the truth be bestowed upon them, perhaps it is the understanding and the trust that will result in one’s desires and not the linear direction. This, however, seems to be counter-intuitive since the focus and discipline held by those who achieve is what is often herald. Breathing the air is like taking in the universe, it fills my lungs but i do not let it fill my soul, that is the mistake made by the many. They do appreciate that they are taking life and energy at all times. This life is always under appreciated and never held as high as the meaningless material items we experience within it. This is why we must detach and let the meaningless go. Our life is higher, it is greater than what we believe. Let me see, let me breath, let me be I need to feel. This killing is not the right, it is not the truth. Where can I find this truth? I want the answers that come from my soul and not from my hand. The body is a mere servant, yet why are we serving the body? How does one escape the toil withstood by all. Going against the waves, cold pain rushing down our spines, the chilling salt filling our mouth and chocking our throats, heart beating to catch up but left behind and now left for good. Our hearts have died and our minds are numb. The freezing ocean of the physical is holding us captive, it is drowning us.
Originally Written: 11:21 AM 3/4/2007
Sunlight has struck the nerve of my inner self, I feel the warmth but cannot feel anything else. It is the fire now that burns. An annoyance, it is too much. Why do I have to be here when I want to be elsewhere. What is it that holds me back if I can let my mind go, why is my body imprisoned. If we can drift apart why can I not walk away. This is the challenge, the disconnect between the physical, the mental and the spiritual. We need to focus the three and work in unison. There is the balance out there that must be obtained. If we could obtain that then the questions that plague us will cease. Birds soaring clearly skys falling water rustling like leaves gone apart have the thoughts the drifters are back and never to drift again, then their purpose has escaped them, their soul duty is to be what they believe, we all must be what we believe, otherwise what are we? If we take a moment to think of how it feels to not know who we are, we are left in pain, yet why do the strong also cry in times of despair? If we know the truth all else is subject to it, all else is a funny little piece, that we know will fit in the plan of our souls and our life - the life that has no end but the one we put on it. We need to stretch our mental and spiritual wings to fly above all that plagues us. Why do we suffer when we know it is just part of the truth. This means that nothing will ever go wrong, it is all just fact - there is nothing but logic, spiritual logic - spiritual logic - spiritual logic - spiritual logic - spiritual logic - I am fixed on the belief that my belief is the belief that holds me true, then why do I let thoughts and feelings escape the realm of this belief. We must stay true to ourselves, we do not know anything but we have opened ourselves up to. We limit our minds in exchange for a false sense of righteousness. YOU ARE WRONG, WE ARE RIGHT, ALL IS RIGHT AND YOU ARE ALL - we need to understand that everything is larger than us. When you live at a level of self-service, then you live linearly - in succession of each want, you think you are accomplishing what will make you happy. But each desire yields another desire - yields another pain. As soon as we leave our selves and focus our energy into something larger - then we can escape these pitiless thoughts. The material is what feeds our body - feeds our ego , but the greater feeds our logic and feeds our soul. We can not pit our mind and body and soul in a constant state of warfare, all must be centered and focused on the same result. How do we then take the strong passionate desires and bring them higher, bring them to the next level?
Originally Written: 10:26 AM 3/3/2007
Separate angles of light will dissect the soul as they penetrate the mind. They are beams of which do not relate to the earthly world - they are from the higher universe. These beams are bi-products of matter and energy entering from one universe to the next. If the damages occurred are greater than the overall value.
Originally Written: 7:56 AM 3/2/2007
This is going to be my first real use of my brain rain journal as a real brain rain exercise instead of a place to record my thoughts. However, I need to stop thinking and start typing let myself float across the universe of my mind with diamonds and elixirs sifting through changing sands. Pyramids of joy overwhelming the maiden of destiny. This is the first time that people have had their chance to breath, the village of monkeys will no longer perish upon the descent of the willing. If we are to allow the missiles of tyranny to rule the earth we are nothing but rubble and dust they who defeat us are only ourselves. Let the animals and space exist in the empty plains of nature. stop correcting what has been done and start doing what needs to be. If we look backward then we will trip on our own feet, sinking deep within the sands of our own doom, entangled in the web of our world. This is not up for negotiation, there are no boundaries except those that are bestowed upon us by us. This is the time and moment for us all to realize that we are who we are because of us. The universe itself flows through our souls like a river, we are the river, we are the universe. The parts that we are makes up the greater whole. This whole cannot be a single body, then we are conflicted with an idea of multiple souls within one body against many bodies of other multiple souls. Now we play in as the electrons of the universe and nothing more than a cell, particle of matter that supports the overall system. Even our souls are constrained by the systems of the universe if we are truly part of the universe as a whole. How do we achieve freedom if we are always part of something larger. Perhaps that is the misconception - there is no us - there is nothing larger - there is only life, begin the functions of matter and energy within space. But even space itself is what, the absence of matter, how does that exist, space is still something, it is matter that is easily moved by the energy applied to our own matter, does our body act as fluidly as space itself? What is it that can contain our own cells and yet allow the cells of space and time to be influenced by that which fills it. This is perhaps not the case when observing time, since time is what controls our thoughts and actions. Now we observe the essence of our own thoughts - what we think, is that matter, or is that energy. If we can only have one thought in each moment then perhaps out thoughts (being energy or matter) are controlled by time. This is unless our thoughts can break from the linear path they seem to fall in. The mission then is to defeat time by defeating our thoughts. If we are able to gain full control by losing control over our thoughts, then we can have a moment to separate our mind from time. Now we still need to separate our bodies from time, yet here is the trouble, since our bodies are mere matter we are faced with some many fundamentals of physics that cannot be broken in an effort to free our bodies. Perhaps we are relying too heavily on them - perhaps we need to turn to other means to support the life of our mind and more importantly the life of our souls. What is it that powers our souls? When thinking about this we see that emotion- mainly love- surfaces. But are these emotions controlled by our mind? This would makes sense as - the body fuels the mind, the mind/emotions fuel the soul and our souls fuel the greater universe. How do we then reverse the process and take from the universe to support our souls? Is this possible, to draw upon the energies around us to fuel ourselves. When bringing this idea into meditation it is a wonder whether what we draw upon is our own mental constructs or a true spiritual/universal energy.
Originally Written: 5:09 AM 2/28/2007
